The integral assessment process is a useful tool to help see what areas of your life need work. Yesterday it was 70 degrees here in Richmond, VA. It's not usually this warm this time of year. Anyway, I sat in the sun and really thought about my life. My life has been really hectic lately. I feel like I am learning how to really reflect on my life. I have learned a lot and I feel like I am on the right path but before I can really move forward, I need to work on areas of my recent past that are causing me emotional and physical stress.
         I want to move forward but I think I need to try to tie some loose ends and find some closure. I need to recognize the negative emotions that are weighing me down. When my relationship with my boyfriend ended, I was really lost. We were together for seven years and he was my best friend. He changed over time. He became an alcoholic. I stayed with him because I thought if you really love someone, you stood by them. I have learned that sometimes love is not enough. It was good he finally ended it because I probably would have never left, no matter how miserable I was. He was never physically abusive but he was verbally abusive.
         One of my best friends was always there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on. He would listen to my problems and make me feel better when I was really feeling down. After me and my boyfriend broke up, he  acted like he was interested in more than just friendship with me, even though he was currently in a relationship. I was never interested in being "the other woman" and I did not allow myself to be. We ended up not being friends anymore and I do miss that friendship.  
        Then I met someone great, my boyfriend, Cirrell. Everything was going really great until the home invasion. I never thought anything like that would happen to me. That experience was very scary. I learned how precious life is. Material things don't matter and can always be replaced. One of my friends acted like it was my  fault for moving into area that was not the safest place to be living. My closest friends abandoned me when I needed them the most. I want to try to mend those friendships. Maybe I should just make new friends but it's hard to let go of people that I have so much history with.
       This post is getting kind of long...so I should probably wrap it up. In conclusion, I have realized that I need to find closure and put my negative feelings to rest. I have my faith to get me through this difficult time. I am going to start each day reading a positive bible verse. I am going to write letters to the people that I have lost. We might not mend our friendships, but at least I will be able vent my emotions. I am also going to journal my thoughts and feelings. I know that God will always be with me and He will provide me with people in my life that I can turn to. It's important to have a dependable support system.

~Amy Summey

Subtle mind Exercise VS loving kindness

These exercises have both been very challenging for me. A "subtle mind" is something I am working towards but I have a long way to go. Both the loving kindness exercise and the subtle mind exercise focus on breathing. It's ironic that breathing occurs naturally but to stop and learn how to change our breathing, to slow down and take deep breaths is something that, for me, is very challenging.
 
I can see how there is a deep connection between my spiritual, mental and physical wellness. I am a Christian and my faith is very important to me. I believe that God led me to this class and this career path. My life has been very trying and challenging. God has been my rock, my strength and my salvation.

In the past six months, I have been through a lot. My alcoholic boyfriend of seven years decided he didn't love me anymore and kicked me out of our apartment. My parents lost their jobs and had to put their house on the market. My two closest friends decided they were tired of dealing with all the drama in my life. I met a wonderful guy and moved in with him. We experienced a home invasion and all of our electronic possessions were stolen from us at gun point. That home invasion was a traumatic experience but I am wiser and more humble for it. I saw my life flash before my eyes. I learned that material possessions and money can be replaced. The important parts of life are the people you have and the moments you share.

I am working and going to school. This class has been like therapy for me. I am trying to recover from all the traumatic events in my life. I am trying to learn how to spend time reflecting. With God's help I know I will become the strong, confident, social person that I once was. God will bring Cirrell a job. He will provide us with a place to stay when this house sells. I want to just say thanks for all my friends and family. In a world of chaos, it is comforting to know there are people to lean on. It's easy to feel lost and alone when life keeps putting obstacles on my path but I know that I am not alone. God is with me. He has provided me with friends and family to comfort and support me.

~Amy Summey

Loving Kindness Exercise

I just did the loving-kindness exercise. I need to find a quiet place, maybe next time I will do it outside. I found it difficult to "quiet my mind". The concept of breathing in suffering and breathing out happiness. This is something that is going to take practice.

A mental workout is a form of exercising the mind.
"The most meaningful aim of contemplative practice is not rest and relaxation but rather the progressive development of an expanded consciousness and its healing capacities (Dacher 2006)."

I am glad that I am taking this class and I look forward to the benefits of mental training. I struggle with feeling burdened by challenges and stress in life. I often carry the "weight of the world" on my shoulders, trying to help everyone. I am going to try to take more time for myself. I am going to take walks and try to start and end each day either journaling or praying out loud to help relax my body and clear my mind.

"Research studies and personal reports have also demonstrated that mental training can transform the mind by reducing disturbing emotions that cause anger, hatred, fear, worry, confusion, and doubt while enhancing positive emotions such as patience, loving-kindness, openness, acceptance, and happiness (Dacher 2006)."

~Amy Summey

Source

Dacher, E. S. (2006). Integral Health: The Path to Human Flourishing. Laguna Beach: Basic Health

        Publications, Inc. .

Prayer List

I want this to be an open place where I share my worries and my prayer requests. I pray for rest. My stress has been making my insomnia act up. I want to pray that my dad finds another job. I also want to give thanks for my boyfriend, Cirrell finding a temp. position. It's only 11 days but he's been out of work sense May or June so hopefully this position will lead to others. My parents are moving and trying to sell there house and that is a very stressful situation. I am trying to take care of everyone, keep up with my job at Blockbuster and my school work. I have lost a few close friends because they go tired of dealing with all the drama in my life. Sometimes I feel like I'm always there when other people need me but when I need some support...there aren't a whole lot of people I can turn to. That is why I am thankful for God. He gets me through the tough times and assures me that things will get better soon.

Unit 3 BLOG

1.        Based on your reflections, and on a scale of 1 to 10 (ten being optimal wellbeing), where do you rate your A-physical wellbeing, B-spiritual well-being, C-psychological well-being? Why?

A- Physical wellbeing=3      

B Spiritual wellbeing=7          

C-Psychological wellbeing = 2

This question has taken a lot of reflection and evaluating my life. It’s harder questions like these that I need to ask myself more often. It’s easy to get rushed by deadlines and “to do” lists and work. I need to remember to stop every once in a while and breathe! My physical and psychological wellbeing are struggling.  I have a lot of health issues; celiac disease, food/outdoor allergies, joint pain and scoliosis. My psychological health problems are depression, anxiety, and insomnia. When my life is less hectic my medication and therapy manages my psychological problems but lately there has been a lot stressing me out. I will talk more about that in another post. Insomnia is the worst because if you don’t get enough sleep, your body stops functioning properly.

2.        Develop a goal for yourself in each area (physical, spiritual, psychological).

Spiritual goal- keep a prayer journal and listen to inspirational music for at least 20 minutes at night or first thing in the morning

Physical goal- Walk every day. Keep a food diary and drink more water.

Psychological goal- Write about all the things on my mind. Make sure I do at least one activity everyday that I really enjoy.

3.        What activities or exercise can you implement in your life to assist in moving toward each goal?

I am going to use this blog to track my progress. It will help me stay focused when life gets crazy and it will help me gain insight from others (and maybe some inspiration). I like writing about everything and it’s easier to be open and honest with strangers. For example, friends and family can be judgmental or try to “fix” things but strangers (or classmates) can give a fresh “outsider’s” perspective. Hopefully I will make some new friends and find some people that struggle with the same things I do. Having a good support system is essential to becoming whole and healthy. 

~Amy Summey 

PS: You can also find me on facebook.  

Introduction

This is going to be a place where I write my thoughts and feelings. I hope to become a more whole, more healthy individual. I find that writing helps relieve stress and sort out my thoughts.